Hope [i]t Gives You Hell

Exam results.....
I can't really say it's really bad..
I think it's a very normal thing for me getting 59% for my average...
but somehow things are waaaay different if you're in that class,
people make a big fuss out of it, and it's practically an alone stuff.
you see, because everybody else gets 75 80 90 and me on the other hand gets....59 :D
special right? I'm always the special one..

almost every subject I SUCCESSFULLY achieve the lowest marks,
my friend was like 'you damn toooot la you, you sure simply tooot this exam 1'
I was like how high you think I can get? this is me, the usual me and the typical marks I get
he still give me the 'I don't believe you' look.

Teachers....
aren't really happy about it I guess..
Target are locked on me, throwing questions at me all the time,
I think it's not wrong to do that,
but sometimes it just trips me off and makes me wanna shout at them
'can you ....... get off my back'
I can seriously tell you ways like that aren't gonna make me score those stupid grades
and guess what, doesn't mean you want that certain grade (surely want A 1 la, what nonsense are you talking)
Doesn't mean that I have to get it,
I can't really satisfy everyone, so the main thing is just me and myself.

If you're hoping I could become like one of those, no maybe at least just half of those students in that class,
I'm so sorry to disappoint you that there's no way it's gonna happen.
I'm the type of person that seeks moderation, and don't really give high hopes on myself, but it depends on what condition it is la.
I don't really want to be the smartest, nor the stupidest, actually there's no such thing as stupidest, I just wanna be the middle fella.

so just get off my back and quit biting me, let me roam on my own capability, don't ever try to push me off the edge, it's not gonna be good.
Try thinking of this,
I'm everything they're not, they're everything I'm not
feel better?

(mr. lim's target for my chemistry --70% )
I try my best k?
heeeeeeee XD



endurance, patience,time and good friends are what I really need to help me get through this year which are full of creeps and shits.
all these is what I really feel deep down under.
if it hurts or causes discomfort to anyone,
go toooot yourself??
no no no, accept my apologies then.
and smile k ?
heeeeeeeeee XD

-J²™-

uh ohhhh....

....something is back....

and it's getting bigger....

....this is so bad....

-J²™-

I proudly present mah drawing

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p/s : can only be drew under nervous / freaked out / scared conditions

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Thank you for spending your time here :D

-J²™-

18th of March of the year 2009

after mamak-ing with friends at night

which the total was 82 bucks for 4 person

sapu-ed everything

and then my friends mom fetched me back home

at my doorstep

I waited for people to open the door for me

my friend also wanted to take back his basketball

and I was bragging about how pretty the stars was that scattered across the night sky

and then out of the blue

me: (stunned) was that a........?
friend: ........... it was a meteor
me: ........omfg 'O'

I was totally stunned and speechless and happy at the same time

I didn't know what to say

and then I told everyone in the house, all thought I went crazy already

I was crazy, and also cannot believe that I actually saw 1

and as my first sighting of it, it was just up above my house

and then before I sleep, I still had to digest the fact that I saw one

I was also smilling the whole time, I sleeping also smilling

imagine eujin smilling while he's sleeping, like having a ham sap dream like that :P

But then seriously, everything was so cartoonish, so animated..

the way the meteor streak across the sky..

I really can't describe it,

It was just one, imagine me watching a meteor shower

me will go nuts @.@

and of course..

after seeing must make wishes 1 right? :)

I shall make this day one of my lucky days

-J²™-

Being in a devastating situation wasn't that bad after all,

you can sometimes find happiness in it too.

ironic isn't it?

correct me if i misuse this word, it's my first time (=

If it wasn't because of them

I would be

DEAD

&

GONE

god bless sj and sy and other form 5's for tomorrow

-J²™-

WHAT THE FROG WAS THAT!!!???

HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN!!!??

why the heck did you freak out??!!

for what god damn reason???!!

got your freaking mind all jammed up and what, forget every shit?!!

what were you scared of??!!

teachers??

what teachers would say?

think of you?

for getting bad marks??

or even flunking it??

how many times does it need to repeat itself??

even if you're in 12

you don't need to care about what people think of you!

afraid that they're gonna scold you in front of the whole class?

so what??

embarrassing?

come on la..

if you know this was gonna happen

why bother making a big fuss when the teacher didn't let you enter 12 in the 1st place?

which part of you deserves so freaking much to be squezzed in to 12?

what subject are so good in that other people suck like shit?

malay?

maths?

english?

oh you think your's is damn good la..

grow up la..

the 1st thing that you need to get rid is your goddamn stupid attitude of caring about what other people thinks or whatever

mouths theirs,

brains theirs,

you can't control them right??

there's more of these people out there la

YOU HAVEN SEEN THEM ALL YET

when you go out there and met them all,

what are you gonna do?

stuff shits into every mouths ah?

think of it.

these is only the 1st term.

whatever it is, I've swore not to be depressed over a damn paper anymore.

it's so not worth it

I seriously have no idea how to go though the year.

what am I gonna do to keep myself afloat in 12?

..........i need help )=

sighsighsighsigh

Don't worry

be happy

cause every little thing

is gonna be alright

whatever the outcome is,
just smile,
it may not solve the problem,
but at least it cheers you up
and puts your mind at ease.

so

just

leng mou?

-J²™-