When realize is just the starting.

When you grow up from that little being,
When you started mixing with everyone,
When you thought that everything was going well,
When you rocketed sky high with everything,
When you were happy with everything,
When your attitude stood out the most among the rest,
When we all realized you were moving away from the axis of consciousness,
When we all voiced out,
When you never listen,
That's when we gave up,
Then and there.

We can only bring you,
tell you,
guide you,
till this very point,
walk on from here, yourself.

That's all we can do, all I can do.
I know you'll realize it sooner or later, maybe not with us,
but with some other people out there.
Change for the better alright?
I don't want to see you digging your own grave and walking straight into it, but there's really nothing I can do.
Hope you understand.
I hope you REALIZE.

Ego is just simply a mentality of how you think yourself is and carry around without noticing the harm it might bring upon yourself.

Art Of Love

Hesitant to advance, Fearful of withdrawal.
Don't like this feeling at all.

I'm scared a little for myself, I'm afraid more for you.



Cause I’m still learning the art of love
I’m still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know.

World of Laughters

nobody ever dies of laughter.

I had huge wacko laughter during last week's Saturday at Tze Heng's house warming, yesterday and today.
Starting from house warming.

Tze Heng's house was amazingly out-of-this-world huge with a spacious front porch which it's already enough for me to jog around.
It was 3-stories high, I tell you if I were to live in that type of house right now, with my parents not around, I would only linger in the ground floor.
Laughter started off with Hui Xin, Kit Mun and Po Xuan picking on Adrian by imitating his laugh, they said it was like a car engine starting *kkkeeekk (pause) keeekkk (pause) kekkkkk and starts laughing, LOL!
Then a version of Yang Sheng's laugh, a smile that cracks on the face and turns away, turns back and it's gone..no one and no one has ever seen him burst into a big laughter, just the grin.==
It's like 'The Silencer'
Then Kar Quin's was the funiest of all.
Watch this.
*HAHAHAHAHAHA, @iu, soh@@ and so forth and with his palm slamming against his fist ==
Even when he laughs he is still so vulgar..

Yesterday.
it's was about the Ceriathon card, they asked us to donate at least 50 bucks (actually it was for us to ask around for donation for people)
Last day to pass it up so I just gave a GENEROUS amount of 10, like what Voon Kaen said.
I never fill in the names and stuffs, so I when I wanted to fill it before I pass it up, they asked for parent's IC ==
Xin said just write my parents birthday and make up the back portion of it.
Father's BD? Dunno. Mother's BD?Dunno Xin was like ==
Then she said leave it. Then the names of the donaters.
There were 4 which my friends simply made it up, the 1st and 4th was normal
2nd was by the name, Ai Saw Hye.
3rd was by the name, Ben Xiao Zhang.
OMG laugh till my stomach cramp a lil bit already, if you don't get it just keep saying it until you get it right. (it's a bad word and the principal)

Today.
After school, stayed back for rehearsal for the performance on Friday.
I, Hui Xin and Zong Lin was walking towards the canteen when Bill was approaching with a HL chocolate milk on his hand,
a chocolate milk addict I was and I asked ''BILL! WHY DIDN'T BELANJA ME?!!"
He was like "Aaaa (thinking of what to say)"
Zong Lin " Ya lor!" Dunno where he got a small part of dunno what plant and place it into Bill's milk.
Bill was like totally wtf and quickly pick it out, damn digusting man.

Zong Lin and Bill was to play an ugly girl.
omg man Bill had this wig like the boy in Karate Kid on his head, 1st he looked funny on it, 2nd he went like "YOU SPIN MY HEAD RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND!!" and it fall off, damn funny.
Then left 15 minutes and there's just me, Bill, Hui Xin, Kit Mun and Zong Lin.
We tested every song there was in the CD and the funniest was 'Airplanes' and 'If We Ever Meet Again'
Zong Lin was B.o.B with the wig rapping and I played a small part of Hayley Williams during the chorus, imitating her part in the music video with the arms like an airplane flying around, damn hillarious.
Then again in 'If We Ever Meet Again', Bill started off singing and then chorus took over by Zong Lin. He copied the way of Katty Perry singing, omg that 1 I really drop on the floor laughing like hell..
Oh then there's also when he posed with the wig and said "I AM THE ROCK" with that look of him, you just can't resist bursting into a laugh.
and there was other funny scenes too.
In the end,
We concluded that Zong Lin pawned today's rehearsal.

:(

a

b

c

d

e





and I can't do a thing about it.

Beyond The Words.

If I knew things would turn out this way,
I wouldn't have taken that way.
It
drowned
filled
swallowed
taken
me
in
whole
.

Things weren't going well these days,
I felt like everything around me is just going so fast, I'm slowing down?
static.

Prayers have let me walked over so much,
Hope this will too.
So much going through my mind right now.

And the worst part is

Before it gets any better

I'm heading for a cliff

And in the free fall

I will realize I'm better off

When I hit the bottom




How told me 难得找到了，就不要放弃。

Pattern 101

"A pattern has an integrity independent of the medium by virtue of which you have received the information that it exists. Each of the chemical elements is a pattern integrity. Each individual is a pattern integrity. The pattern integrity of the human individual is evolutionary and not static."

R. Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983), U.S.American philosopher and inventor.


This term was first oftenly used by our very own Koh Jiun How, and then pass on to one another till it became a trend of saying it, which when day goes by, it knocks on the door in your mind that it's so true and you can it everyday, be it in symmetrical or insymmetrical,an entity or being, takes any forms of life with soul or not, it exist everywhere.

Example, exams.
I mean like let's say 30mins before.
If you would just calm down, clear your mind, put everything down, take a few steps out the battleground, widen the view your're staring at, observe attentively, and you would notice something funny.
Minutes before an exam unawarely brings everyone together, stranger or not, they're as close as your family at that time, never notice before? try it next time.

And then there's results time, lagi worse.
Every shit of everyone from everyone can be seen through and through.
I don't know whether that I've ever acted like that, or in a way that would offend somebody when I get my results, anyway I apologise for it, but the truth is that I really feel kinda sick of it already.
I told my friend to keep it general enough so this would be just like this, I really don't want to mention anyone here.

Lastly,

IN YOUR FACE EXAM SCHEDULE!!!

I think this is so cool, what'd you think?

and it seem all so fine those days..those days..

As bad as it seems.

I felt that this week was one of the worst ever this year,
I had Moral on Monday and I guess it was so so only, time was definitely not on my side, managed to finish all because I spared my toilet time, you know, I can't even have my toilet time, looking at the amount of people going to toilets with only 2 reasons, makes me think that why the heck that they have so much time??

Following few days was MSSKL, got 7..worst in my MSSKL record I guess? Didn't take it seriously this time, cause I can predict how I would perform with the amount of training I have..I skipped 3 days of hell-ish subjects, that's the good part.

Now comes the bad part, the tourney ended 1 day before, supposedly on friday..and so friday was History..I spend my whole day..after the tourney which ended like 10 something..after that had a lil comp time, and then I studied my ass out, no afternoon nap at all..I studied all the way till 12, and I slept and woke up and 2.30..studied again..which comes to mind that out of 24 hours I only had 2.30 nap time..

Hours later, waiting to sit my exam, my teacher came and told me, today must take the exams u missed, I totally stunned, I thought it was like next week, no..today must have 1 subject..I was like I'm so screwed..I only had 2 and 1/2 fucking hours of sleep and you want me to sit for bio papers??? After the history paper 2 my thumb was aching like shit, I managed to sleep awhile after I've finish shooting paper 1..then I went straight for the exam..I already told myself, do paper 1, screw paper 2..I did finish all but I can guess that out of the total marks of paper 2, I can get only like 10 marks?? because I had not even studied. and I thumb ache badly eonough..totally didn't have the mood to do the exams..I used 90 mins to finish 2 bio papers, how cool is that? :D

Whatever it is, I think I'm gonna apologize to Ms.Lee.
I'm gonna give Add Maths paper the shock of it's life, watch out :) of course with a lil help la, haha

In addition, Didi's out of American Idol..How does that make your week great???!!!
Either I find some contestants to like about or I'm not gonna watch it anymore.


everyone has their mood swings, the degree of the swing is what that matters.--me :)

Love, perhaps?

you go bro :)


Don't mind the title.

...............

Anne Morrow Lindbergh quotted that Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

Well, the week begin a little awkward with me having a sudden fever during midnight,which means I don't have to go to school, yeah.They said during assembly Pn. Fazilah announced about 'a few' classes which had 3 or 4 rubbish dumps, stuffed till it's fullest, not emptied.Pengetua insisted so badly until she had no choice to say it, "5a11, 5a12 dan 5a10"Imagine the 3 best classes in the whole school, the dirtiest! Quite an achievement

Sentosa boleh.


Then big ass sitting beside me, was off for duty at some stadium for 4 days, since he was a yellow Digi man, relevant.I can tell you I was more focus on studies without you sitting beside me, haha..And today Che Haou didn't take his medication, he kept on singing various languages of songs like a MOCKINGBIRD!!But he didn't sound so sweet though, but still he kept on singing, made me laugh my lungs out.

Society after school,
because that friend was also a ketua, and he wasn't here, I had to run the society with all the other people of course.At one time couldn't find Ms Tan, and then saw her teaching form 4 girls physics *smack head
Things went on normally, my 1st time and it went smoothly, was a bit anxious cause it's was my first.
yeap, my first :)
Some of the juniors from PAK and too society kept calling my names, they told me my name was the easiest to remember.
sweeeeeeeet.

I think the new recess time is so ************************************* dumb. Can't even have a proper meeting with ajk's and even if it's just me and Zhen Ee.
She form 6 me 5, different time of recess, crap.
Always have to ponteng a lil here and there just to discuss things with her.
You know if we both don't work things out and save PAK's ass, it's gonna go down the drain.
And having Ms Kok replaced with a new teacher, it's like ookay this teacher is just here to err...to be just here..
PPS that side haven't had a real meeting since that crap recess thing was brought up.

Well, that's probably the things happening around.
take care people.
peace out.

Ups and Downs of Life.

Warm greetings and Happy Chinese New Year to everyone.
As of today, Malaysia's temperature continue to soar up to 60'c due to the lack of rain and scorching hot sun.
nah just kidding, not that hot but still hot though.

Yesterday night's sleep was disastrous for me,
Up down left right, north south east west, don't know some more got where, firecrackers and fireworks broke the usual midnight serenity, and I face sleeping difficulties.
This morning during perhimpunan, I was so restless, I don't know why, I kept sweating and I felt so hot, stood still and tried to calm myself down, masih tak boleh, so I went to the toilet to get away from the crowd, and guess what? there's this joker singing while doing his business I think, do business then diam diam a bit la please.
Took me awhile to settle down, and Jiun How even helped me calm me down, and I finally did.
Back to normal :)


Looking back at CNY.
Hottest CNY I've ever had in my history of living in dearest Earth.
But overall not bad, still boleh tahan, still enjoyable. But not as merry compared to last time, part of my relatives have migrated to other countries, so practically there's less people to celebrate with. My 2 sisters are also abroad studying, so it's a bit sien without them :( But sometimes I think of it, the idea of my parents giving birth to 3 different age gaps of children is also good, at least when both of my sister are overseas, there's still me to teman them, and then when they come back it's my turn, so we actually take turns to teman them so they won't feel lonely so much.
Imagine if all 3 of our age gaps are so little, 1 year can 3 people ciao also, sure habis 1.

Then, errr went to bai nian with friends too, still have loads of people's house to bomb XD
oh and I went to my friend's friend house too, know him a bit only, but the main thing is rite, his house is so damn ridiculously big, really can't imagine myself staying in such aaay big house.
Small small enough already lar, and also went to another 'china museum house' , can't talk much about it later kena bash, but seriously MUSEUM, imagine it yourself.

This is what I've learned in school today:
We should just be ourselves, be nice, smile, abit of vulgar here and there, make yourself presentable, likable, don't ddly. Most people will do the same to you too :)


For my 2 sisters abroad, in case I forgot to tell you or something, this was what happened.
1 day I was watching tv with ah kung sitting beside me, and suddenly he ask me, it's been 2 years since popo's gone, do you remember her and miss her, did you... then his eyes became teary, I had to comfort him, sometimes do call him and talk to him kay. I can see that he miss her so badly, he almost made me cry too :(
Take care sisters, love you.


The house has never been the same since she left. and I too still miss her badly, so does everybody else.

Complications Are Inevitable.

Urmm..Don't really know what to start about.

School life go 1st then.

Racial stuffs and canteen was the headlines, but then it's over so there's no need to talk much about it.

Then there comes intervensi, the exam from jabatan which I don't know what the heck is the use of it and it was made 1 of the official exams in our school and I pretty sat for it seriously, well sorta..

Our tables were like a finger length away from each other, and so stuffs happens you know :D

Aiya all these you know I know so don't need to say la, and had a few snapshots of it too, naughty us.

and I just realize school was actually a quite strategic place to take scenery pictures.

Off to birthdays.

January is really a month full of birthdays,

Rin The Blackhole, Hui Jun, Jiun How and so on..

Contributed to most of their presents, Hui Jun's present I've got to buy it myself which it is gonna be a bit late until I get the chance to go out..be patient kay :D

all these signals my wallet is getting slimmer D: , but then okay lar once every once in a year.

Friend friend ma, and like what How always say to me: 这个世界这么大，为什么偏偏要我遇见你这个sensored leh? and I always tell him the same thing 缘分.

Well, but still some complications are just inevitable right?

Since the time the issue of not wishing 1 friend happy birthday was brought up, again and again, and again...things begin to go off road.

I just felt like there's already a communication problem going way wrong, and it's still.

And I can tell you something too, you're the only one I know who talks to me with different tones that shows you don't like something. and maybe you would say I'm sensitive, maybe you're right, but only to you I guess, because you really the only who does that.

I feel like bringing up this problem, but knowing you..you would just do something predictable.

Man this sucks la, feeling all so fucked up inside, teachers fucking with you, people are fucking with you.. sucks so badly.

You know what, since entering this class, I've really experienced tons of shits which are such strangers to me, and I know there's more to come.

Seeing someone that's almost a close friend change is really something to 'wow' and be amaze of seriously, you really wouldn't even imagine it.

Anyway, I've told myself whatever it is, you're already in here.

Stop wining and accept it.

You can't and will not leave this class, there's no way.

So, why not I just blend in and just be happy, screw those teachers, do what what you can and have fun.

and myself couldn't agreed more.

Big smile :D

When Live Gives You Lemons, You Make Lemonade.

(lemons means lemons ah, don't come up with stupid ideas to replace lemons.)

1st Day of School-------------SUCKS!!

Before I go in the main title of the day..
I like to say something about my blog,
I rite.., manged to ABANDON IT FOR FREAKING 8 MONTHS!!
I checked the dashboard and the sky that made my day for that day, became my last post ever.
Even po xuan memorized it already...awwww
So picked today to restart again, good day huh? :D

Then the main thing,
as you know 1st day of school, parents gets all choked up because their kids are finally going for school for the 1st time. *applause, have a great time, long way ahead.
but then you parents don't need to jam up the whole OUG the gua just to pick your precious kids from big ol' YOKE NAM
OUG.......jammed ==''

Sigh, Sentosarians..that's what they call, started our at assembly at about 8 after the big cooling rain..when later it turn out to be sunny..Those teachers and headmistress talk and talk and talk, as usual we talk and talk and talk too..but we still lose to them, we talk finish already they still haven..plus with the hot sun, they had a mouthful of 'compliments' from us. EAT THAT!
Asked zong lin whether he wants stand at my place.

Want anot? Don' want.

Want anot? Don't want.

Want anot? Don't want.

suan.

Jiun How leh..gave him that look and point the place in front of me, asking him too want anot?this time I don't want to talk.
Don't want also. Minutes later, gave that I'M SO DARN HOT look.
Totally gave up on them.
There's this prefect too, form 3 I guess, typical malay prefect.
Kept asking the girls from this class to move forward where there's a gap and there's where the sun's lazer beam shoots at. They resist. but she kept on asking.
She stands beside me, fan sei yan.
I was thinking man, people so fair and lovely and fair and you ah.................. figure the next few words yourself.. I didn't say anything.

Then started class lo. This time sit behind Xin and Xuan.
No one sit behind me, can have all the space again :)
Beside the window, not too bad, the okok scenery is fine to look at and day dream.
Morning's the best la. cool and cosy, just the right moment to sleep.
and right no more add maths and maths for breakfast, totally all changed.
except, he's our form teacher now. it's still nowhere near good. :(
anyway, form 5 already..
just for record, yesterday fly.fm was like counting down for the best songs for the decade!
Yea, that's the speed of time.
And another decade more it's 2020.
Hooray! cheers! what's next then?
just pray everything goes smooooooooothly in 2012. *praying hard :X


So..
This is it...
This is where the fun begins.
Good day people.