It was way deeper than that..way deeper

*sigh
Think somethings really wrong in me :(
It's happening since then..
Sleepless nights, flashbacks, bad dreams, plus I shed tears every night before I sleep..
and guess wad, only 1 tear rolled down..WHAT DA HECK DOES THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!!!
ROAR!!
god save me :(

I knew I was going get in this condition few months back,
because I've been through it before few years back,
and now I'm really back in this condition..
but this time was way serious..way deeper :(
And the reason I have sleepless nights is because I don't want to close my eyes..
Everytime I close I would see something,and I thought opening it would be better..
That's why I can't sleep
*sigh
I didn't know it would leave such a huge crater, well comparing to the previous 1
gaaa, why do I always to be in this shit?!
I don't like it!! I hate it!!
I wish things would rewind..I wish this would never happen at all in the first place..darn..
I don't know what to do already, I'm out of ideas..
can someone help me? please? heee...:D
and guess wad..I had a dream this morning, a bad dream..
I went to school to check my PMR results..and I found out I only got 2A's and loads of D's
just like what I got for UPSR,well not the D part la..
I was devastated..and I cried badly..
and when I forced myself to wake up..I felt tears in my eyes..I actually did really cried even when I was only dreaming..
bad omen, really bad..things are really bad I guess :(
wonder how I'm going to react if it really happens?
It would be the biggest catastrophe in my entire life..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
moving on, well, not really moving..but going on, means moving on..
it still freaking mean moving on right?!
see I'm out of my mind, crazy, wacko, lunatic YOU NAME IT!!
I've decided to give myself a second chance in squash,
losing isn't the end of it..
my friend was right, parents was half right,
I should stay strong and don't give up so easily..
I've showed them before when I was young, in a smaller size..
but now I've just grown a lil bigger in size, nothing much..
I've showed them before and I'll show them again..
I'll make their eyes pop out, their jaws grow longer, and their balls touch the ground!!
heeee.... :D
I would like to see that happen..:P
Anyway, this time I really mean it..
but if I really can't make it..then maybe it's time to back off then..


Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

-J²™ -